Ghost

My Button Collection

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

  • child I am babysitting: How do you get grownup teeth?
  • me: You lose your baby teeth
  • child I am babysitting: they fall out!?
  • me: they fall out
  • child I am babysitting: do you still have your baby eyes?
  • me:
  • child I am babysitting: or did they fall out
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: you keep the same eyes all your life
  • child I am babysitting: *touches eyes* whoa

belle-addams:

furything:

can you believe that there are legal nipples and illegal nipples

That’s it, that’s actually it.

fagshionista:

keepingupwiththemasons:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

Now that’s what I call justice 

the fifth one down though. How fucking dare you try to learn another language that could help you in your future occupation? Because we all know that you’re learning it for not that reason and not because your education requires it or because you actually want to learn another language. gOD FORBID WE HAVE EDUCATED PEOPLE WHO SPEAK DIFFERENT LANGUAGES ON THIS FUCKING WEBSITE

excuse me do you mind not breathing this air? it’s been breathed by other nations and cultures for generations and you’re culturally appropriating this atmosphere, thank you

shslequius:

"homework" *tired zombie noises*

"studying" *sad zombie noises*

"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*

"internet" *happy zombie noises*

(Source: clgdoublelifts)

mondoodoo:

so i was looking up off bug spray ads and i was expecting to see some lady on a lawn chair with a bottle of bug spray but instead i saw

image

then i came across this gem

image

and this last one was pure gold

image

god bless you off bug spray

(Source: missedea)

Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me.

A novel written by me. (via princessariel2323)

riddlemetom:

the 7th harry potter book was released july 21st 2007 that is exactly 7 years ago today

today’s the day to make a horcrux y’all

tinaturnip:

sneakymonster:

you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.

that is a raccoon

tinaturnip:

sneakymonster:

you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.

that is a raccoon

(Source: looo-ch)

sniffing:

when you have to go somewhere early in the morning but your parents aren’t waking up

image

colesprouseofficial:

sorry! your password must contain at least seventeen roman numerals and the entire script of shrek the third

(Source: mermeme)

thatfunnyblog:

cruel

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