No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

dirtylittledamsel:

I Should’ve Saved That Gif When I Had The Chance Because Now I Can’t Find It: The Musical

fonmasterguard:

So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle

lynzave:

geezjenner:

lynzave:

I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying

and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA

COVERED IN ECTOPLASM 

AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US

I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once

I was a C section check your privilege

1o14:

i want world peace but there are people i want to kill first

poopflow:

at prom some girl dropped her corsage and cut her toe and she was bleeding so the dj stopped the music and i said “i guess there really is blood on the dancefloor“and my date slapped me across the face 

dorkstrider:

killerkranberry:

dorkstrider:

did you know that the australian government literally changed the date of australia day this year because it was on a saturday and everyone was that upset about missing out on having a day off

remember when they pushed the time of the leader’s debate back a couple of hours because the final of masterchef was scheduled to air at the same time

advance australia fair

p0ndorica:

p0ndorica:

sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought 

it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich

odd2oul:

to people who haven’t unfollowed me